Inevitable,
but even so, how else is it possible?
So I whisper to myself, “He will choke yourself. Fuck his throat and fight back.”
A small sound escapes in my life,
a little more each day
but even so, how to assemble long, hard control over him?
As much as I started to believe this phobia of mine, I still have the desire for air.

I don’t conflate, “how could I stop, boy?” with acts of intimacy!
If there is one sign of violence, the kind of rules he would use,
I freeze and will not be eaten, even if his mouth generates complexity,
He will expect me in a mode he can grasp at the front of his mind,
If he was an animal, it’s coming

In your example,
intimacy is more than empathy, intimacy with each other
I’m surprised by you, crashing into you completely, distant in love.
I watch your mouth,
try to compel the confusion
but why am I set on combat, walking home?
If I start to believe this love of yours, will you let me in just in time?

I remember I tried to be sorry, as he ignored my pleading eyes!
He feels like he’s in love with distance
Especially those he dreams about, those who keep him completely
He’s so gentle when he knows he has complete control over my violation
I never talk to him about my own

I don’t conflate intimacy with drones anymore
because now, now, now, close to your belly,
strong hands
open mouth
soft eyes
maybe I finally know empathy